gphitman's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If this isn't Destiny Ok, I didn't even do my actual name in there until my friend Joe suggested it. But that is just fucking PERFECT if anyone who knows anything about me knows... well, shit. I am just FLOORED. That is hysterical. Thanks, Joe. 9:56 am - 04.01.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ODDS and ENDS.. and ODDS Ok, that's pretty fucking funny. I tried out some other names I know and I won't even tell you what I got, but really, you all need to try that out. Rest assured, I'm having a very strange day, so nothing is going to surprise me. The high point was when one of the lawyers at my office asked me if I knew where he could score some pot so he could shake this nasty headache he's got. This was right after I'd hung up with his opposing counsel that I've been having a solicitous e-mail/phone reltionship with finally told me he was more like 45, not 35, and he thought maybe we shouldn't talk anymore because he was starting to feel some things for me he could get in trouble for with my boss... I could have had two lawyers disbarred today. This morning on my way to work, I had just made a right onto Moorpark and was just coming to Laurel Canyon when I saw a man dressed in a chicken suit (like this one- click here) chasing after 3 teenagers. The teens (who looked to be about 14) were all smiling and laughing and seemed to be enjoying themselves as they tore past me. I was so intrigued by this, I very nearly pulled over, but I had to get to work, so I just called my mom instead, who was as incredulous as I. I mean, this is the kind of weirdness you see in Time Square, not Studio City. In retrospect, what was really weird, is that it was almost like they waited for the traffic to come before they took off, like they wanted people to see them. And didn't these kids need to be in school? And, of course, this all begs the question, WHY THE FUCK WAS HE WEARING A CHICKEN SUIT? He had no signage on him. No uniform or hat- nothing! SO he wasn't working for an eatery or something... SO ODD. Like I said, it's been a strange day. But anyway, I have to tell you, I'm wearing my new plaid top and my new sweater poncho and I'm so pleased with myself. Don't you love that feeling? It's not arrogance- it's just that "I've got a new outfit on that I love" feeling... oh, shutup, you know what I mean! And if you don't, go... oh, go get chased by a chicken or something. And by the way all you Yankee nay-sayers- you just leave me ALONE. ONE GAME! It's just ONE lousy GAME. Oh sure, the Kings may have let me down this season (although Robataille didn't), but I've got my Lakers, and we'll just see about baseball. So there. Have a strange day. I insist. 4:37 pm - 03.31.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fashion Disaster! So I'm not really on par per se with the likes of Giorgio Armani or Donna Karan, but I've done my time at a semi-upscale department store, and I consider msyelf to have good taste. Let's take a walk, shall we? So I'm taking one step closer to Cancer on my lunch break today when I saw a woman who clearly does not own a mirror. Which reminds me to look into that non-profit I wanted to start for people who are fashion-challenged... Anyway, we're walking, we're walking... So! Working from the head down: Frizzy curly hair in a frizzy, curly mess. Sadly, neither her hair, nor her gold framed aviator sunglasses did a thing to flatter her pale, round face, so I couldn't tell you what it really looked like. Over her white, lace camisole, she had on a salmon caridgan (salmon: the color that pink forgot). ACK! The pants were all wrong. They matched (gray), which is the only good thing. I might have excused the rest of her, frankly, if the pants hadn't sucked me in to begin with. They were tapered, for starters. But that's not all! They were too short! And when they got too short at the bottom, you could see she wasn't wearing an appropriate trouser sock. She had on ankle socks. Those short ones you are supposed to wear with tennis shoes so it looks like you aren't wearing socks at all? You know. And you would hope, at least in this case, our lady of the Landmark was wearing tennis shoes. Oh no, my pets, LOAFERS. And what color, pray tell, were here trendy ANKLE SOCKS? ELECTRIC BLUE! Yes, yes, you heard it here first. ELECTRIC BLUE! Black loafers, blue ankle socks, short, gray tapered slacks. With pleats. Did I mention the pleats? DId I mention the salmon cardigan? I did? Well, I think it's worth mentioning twice, so stick it. But wait! I haven't told you about her clutch yet! The black leather handbag with the precious gold buckle she held onto for dear life in her right hand while she carried her lunch in the other. Walk over. I can't go on. Let the lady eat her lunch in peace. I have other people to belittle before the day is done. 4:58 pm - 03.26.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 50 Things 1. I consider 4 people "best friends." 11:08 am - 03.25.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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