gphitman's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Orchids, Bathrobes, and Booze - OH MY! I got an Orchid from Jaime for my housewarming party. Here's hoping I don't kill it! Watch out for me now, kids. I have red streaks in my hair. I'm a rebel. A punk. A rocker, if you will. Oh who am I kidding. I shop at The Gap for pete's sake. I say "for pete's sake," for crying out loud! I am officially declaring the housewarming party a success with the exception of "Johnny Bathrobe," the asshole neighbor from hell, but whom I've actually decided added charm and memory to our party. At midnight J.B. showed up to demand we turn the noise down as we were apparently keeping up his eleven year old daughter. You know, I've lived there 2 weeks and seen no sign of kids- no toys or heard no laughter. I'm leaning toward Matt's theory- keeps that kid locked in basement and just likes to complain in his bathrobe and socks because he thinks it turns on the ladies. It doesn't, by the way. Party wrapped up around 2- cleaned up in no time and except for my clogged kitchen sink (fixing that tomorrow -- *crossed fingers*) really was a great bash. Lots of leftover booze. I could get sloshed every night for the next two weeks. Not an invitation for all y'all, by the way! I know how some of you think! So the place is coming together! I'll have a functioning sink tomorrow, working televisions and all that jazz, just need a dresser, a mirror, and a desk chair and then my bedroom will be happy so I can be happy. [sigh] In the meantime, have adopted new anthem: "I just don't know what to do with myself..." 4:55 pm - 03.01.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ration for Passion I will not be seeing Mel Gibson's The Passion. Fear not, for I am surely going to tell you why. I don't give a shit about all this controversy. I don't care about the violence, or the blood. I'm not interested in the Jews as traitors- whether they are or not (and as one I'll tell you, we very well may be- and I don't care), nor am I interested in it as a historical or educational piece. The movie is in ARAMAIC. Has no one noticed this? Has everyone totally overlooked this? The movie is in Aramaic. End of conversation. There are subtitles to a movie in a language older than the water in the Dead Sea. End of debate. I'm not seeing said flick. And how much do I not wanna be Mell Gibson's publicist this week? Hutton Gibson, Mel's daddy, granted an interview to the New Zealand Press this past week. Probably because he felt like thngs were not controversial enough for Mel right now. His contention, it seems, is that the Holocaust is something Jews made up for attention. Well I am here to tell you: He is absolutely right. Why, just last Saturday, I called up my buddy Mike Schwartz and said, "Hey, buddy! Wanna meet up with the brigade? We're heading out overseas to put up so remnant of still-functioning-gas-chambers and other war-torn-resembling grounds. Maybe mounds and mounds of shoes. If there's extra time, we're gonna doctor some phony pictures and video tape some phony footage of this little guy with a mustache shouting at us in German with his arm up in the air..." HUTTON GIBSON IS OUT OF HIS FUCKING MIND. Which, I freely admit, has nothing to do with Mel Gibson. I would never hold a son accountable for the sins of his father. In fact, I would not even blame Mel for his response, which was "I love my father and cannot speak against him." All I'm sayin' is, I SO would not wanna be Mel's publicist this week, ya know? But I'd sooo take his salary... Right now, he's holed up in his office, hoping to God his other clients, who include (for added fun) Robert Downey Jr. and Matthew McConaughey stay away from things like drugs and playing the bongo drums in the nude. 9:55 am - 02.24.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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