gphitman's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's Favorite Hat Day Jaime! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love you! And even though you told me not to (at Christmas)- there will be a small goody for you because I can't help myself. I will see you on Sunday. I'm wearing my favorite hat today and carrying my Grandmother's chunky gold necklace in my back pocket for good luck. I don't think I could make it through the funeral without either. It's some psychological malfunction that I have to have these things to get through. I also have to behave like a primadonna and cling to my cousin Jessica so we can scoff at her awful cousins Bobbi and Nancy who still wear LA Gear metallic sneakers and leggings. On Saturday, just to humor myself, I am going apartment hunting with Kenchy. An opportunity has presented itself since he has to move out of his place and my father needs me to move out of his. I was always hoping to save and to buy, but since there seems to be some urgency now, I may have to give in and rent. So the hunt is on. Anyway, I'm going out with Kenchy on Saturday. Just to test the waters. We shall see. It's all been very hypothetical, very "if we did this" and "I'm only considering" and "maybe when," etc. If only I were a millionare, everything would be much more copasetic. 9:39 am - 01.08.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Before I Read an Appelate Report Oh, hello there. I'm bored out of my mind and the faint smell of Nanci's lunch from 4 hours ago has overcome the office. It's absolutely foul. Onions and southwestern ranch dressing. She washed it down with chocolate fudge cake and a tantrum because she had to back to her desk when she finished. I had an onion-free Cobb salad. I'm presently listening to "Better Man" by Pearl Jam. Fabulous song. Have you heard it? It's really good. God, I am just determined to bore you to death today, aren't I? I am really sorry about that. I wish I had more to tell you about, but there isn't anything. Friends are the same, love life is the same (which is to say I don't have one), family is the same (see previous entry), work is same (sucks- smells; see previous paragraphs), etc. It's really enough to make me go back to reading the law library again. 5:04 pm - 01.06.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Untitled So the latest is that my Great Aunt passed away yesterday. It's been a horrible 24 hours and I've been basically helpless through all of it. All I can do is watch my mother agonize over all of this. She was terribly close with her Aunt. I haven't seen my Grandfather yet, but he was inseperable from his sister. I was the first phone call he made (for whatever reason) and he sounded just awful on the phone. This is really just killing me. Last year, my Aunt survived breast cancer. She came away from it tumor-free only to have a heart attack and go into a coma for ten days. My cousin (her daughter) signed the DNR and we were prepared for the worst. Aunt Rhoda shocked us all, making a full recovery and just a month ago, was celerating full force at my mom's 50th birthday party. I saw her just a few days ago when I went to her house to hang out with my cousins. When my grandfather called me, I knew right away he was crying and I thought maybe he was having a heart attack. He told me to get a hold of my mother because he couldn't reach her. That I had to tell her. He had to go. He hung up the phone. I had to call my father because I immediately started crying and I didn't want to tell my mother while I was crying. Anyway, that's what happened. I went about the rest of my day in denial, cracking jokes and telling no one because it was easier to just work. My parents kept calling and checking on me but other than the initial shock, nothing is going to set in with me until the funeral when I see my grandfather and my cousins. It really infuriates me. That someone should survive her husband's horrible death, Cancer, and a heart attack, and a seemingly fatal coma only to die alone anyway. It sounds so depressing and unfitting for her. So wrong. And undeserving. And sad. Well, I had to get that off my chest. Back to work. 9:13 am - 01.06.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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